


so ends this day

by indigo_stars



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Post-Episode: s03e18-21 Sozin's Comet, Sad Ending, Zuko (Avatar) Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_stars/pseuds/indigo_stars
Summary: The world was finally at peace.Katara was not.[or; the war ends in a way no one expected]
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 130





	so ends this day

**Author's Note:**

> so... i did a thing. lots of tearbending involved in the creation of this work.
> 
> (zutara if you squint, but can be read as platonic)

In the following week after Sozin's Comet, Katara found herself sitting out in palace gardens the night before the Fire Lord's coronation. Even in the moonlight, the grass was lush and green. The water in the pond shone a stunning blue and Katara allowed a thin stream of it to weave through her slender fingers as she stared at it absentmindedly. 

Part of her couldn't believe that the war was finally over. One hundred years of terror, suffering, and loss, ended in a single day — a day which Katara thought she would never live to see. Katara knew that she should feel something — elated, relieved, peaceful — but the only thing she felt was numb. Katara slowly brought her hand down to her side, the water slipping through her fingers and shattering like glass when it hit the ground. The tears behind her eyelids threatened to do the same.

Blinking them back, Katara stood up and walked to the edge of the pond. Her reflection stared back, looking somber. Her heart pounded and ached and she was so, so tired. The wind ruffled her crimson robes gently, her hair flowing in her face. She wrapped her arms around herself, craving the touch, the comfort, of someone. Anyone.

But she was alone.

*******

The instant Katara saw her father, the wave of emotions bubbling beneath her skin the previous night crashed over her. Her eyes blurred with tears and she felt herself running to him, Sokka's babbling becoming incoherent and distant. Katara crashed into her father's arms and held onto them like a lifeline, silent tears cascading down her cheeks. Her father hugged back just as tightly, rubbing her back and murmuring soothingly. After a few moments, Katara felt another pair of arms join the hug. Her family — what was left of it, at least — was together again.

Katara clung onto her father for the entirety of the coronation. She never once looked as the golden crown was placed in the elegant topknot of grey hair, nor did she applaud as the official declaration of the end of the war was proclaimed. The crowd’s cheers were deafening. In another life, maybe Katara would've been celebrating too.

A hand squeezed her shoulder. Katara looked up to see Sokka's watery smile. She did the best to return it and put her hand on top of his. Neither of them let go of their father.

As the cheers subsided, Katara risked a glance around. She saw Toph standing by the Kyoshi Warriors, her arms crossed against her chest, blankly staring at the ground and a small scowl scrunched on her face. She saw Aang standing solemnly next to the new Fire Lord with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Lip quivering slightly, Katara turned and once again buried herself in her father's embrace, wishing the ground beneath her would open up and swallow her whole. Sokka's hand never left her shoulder.

The world was finally at peace.

Katara was not.

*******

The feast was supposed to be a joyous occasion, celebrating the end of the war and to a new era of peace and prosperity. And to most people, that's what it was. People were dancing, eating, socializing, and acting as if all their sorrows were a thing of the past.

Katara felt nauseous just watching it. Her plate of food was untouched and although her stomach growled, she couldn't bring herself to eat any of it. Beside her, Sokka pushed his plate away, food uneaten. Toph was curled up next to him with the same scowling expression on her face. Aang, sitting on Katara's left, was picking at his food and purposely avoiding any eye contact with anyone who wished to speak to him. Suki had left minutes ago, mumbling that it was too noisy and wanted to be alone. Katara was inclined to follow in her footsteps, but couldn’t find the energy to move.

Instead, she kept her gaze on the Fire Lord, who was holding a glass of wine in his left hand while greeting people with his right. His smile seemed too forced. It seemed as if he was barely holding it together, as if he was ready to crack and break and shatter. It was something Katara knew all too well.

Suddenly finding the air too stifling, Katara finally got up, making excuses to get fresh air. No one stopped her, although Aang did offer to accompany her. She politely declined. As she made her way to the doors, Katara noticed the Fire Lord glancing her way.

She quickened her pace and pushed her way out of the dining hall before he could take a step in her direction.

Katara didn't slow down once she'd exited the room. She ran through the twist and turns of the Fire Nation palace, the different shades of red pressing in all around her. She made another left and ran down the hall, skidding to a halt in front to two double doors with the Fire Nation insignia carved into it. Two Fire Nation guards stood outside, blocking Katara as she tried to get in.

_ Please _ , she pleaded with them. Her heart ached for who was on the other side.  _ Please, let me see him.  _ She desperately fought against the guards, her fingertips reaching out and brushing the soft wood for a split second before they felt nothing but air. Katara struggled against the guards to no avail.  _ Please. _

The guards had to call her father to take her to her room. Once there, her father gently chided Katara for her behavior. 

Katara couldn’t bring herself to care.

*******

If Katara had been dreading the Fire Lord's coronation, then the feeling she had for the next day was indefinitely worse. She stayed up all night, her stomach rolling in uncomfortable knots. When the servants came in before sunrise to give her the silky white and gold robes, the nausea Katara felt the night before came back full force. 

When she finished getting dressed, Katara looked herself over in the mirror. Her face was pale and gaunt. There were dark, baggy circles under her eyes that used to be bright and full of wonder; the raging storm of determination that once filled them was now diminished into a dull, murky puddle of anguish.

The rest of her friends didn't look much better. The Fire Lord looked worse. In contrast to the day before, the crowd of people stood silently as the Fire Lord gave a speech on how brave and selfless and honorable his nephew was, and how his spirit would now rest forever with Agni.

Never before had Katara heard someone's voice crack so much, nor did she ever think Iroh looked as old as he did in this very moment. As he spoke, the Fire Sages made their entrance, stoically carrying the body of a boy whose life ended too soon. 

Zuko was gently placed on a pyre. He looked as if he were asleep. Iroh knelt beside him, brushing his hand through Zuko's hair one last time while quietly singing a gentle tune. Katara noticed the trembling of his hand and the wet sheen in his eyes. Finally, Iroh stood back and took a shuddering breath to steel himself. Then, slowly, his arm reached out, as if to embrace Zuko one last time… 

And all Katara saw were bright orange flames, flickering up to the rising sun. The heat of the flames contrasted the early morning air. 

_ How could something so tragic be so beautiful? _

Katara's vision blurred, tears cascading down her face, but she couldn't look away. Staring into the flames that were devouring Zuko's flesh, the memories of the fateful Agni Kai came back full force, where golden flames met daunting blue and the sky was blood red… 

Where lightning was shot at her with deadly precision. Katara, frozen in terror even though every muscle in her body is screaming at her to  _ move _ . Zuko, throwing himself into the line of fire, taking the blast for himself… the way he crashed into the ground, barely moving, twitching in agony.

The desperation to get to him, to heal him… Katara, thinking she got to him in time, because Zuko was up and moving, witnessing his sister's breakdown, only to collapse after… Katara, panicking _(because this wasn't supposed to happen, why was this happening)_ as she felt his life slipping through her fingers… Zuko, struggling to breathe as he told her that it was okay, that he doesn't regret his decision, that he'd do it again. The absolute devastation Katara felt when she realized that she was too late, he was gone. If only she had been faster, if only she hadn't got in the way if only, if only, if only… 

Her wailing and pleading and sobbing drowned out Azula's deranged, inhuman cries as Katara had clutched onto Zuko's body, refusing to let go of the boy she'd grown to cherish as the Fire Sages tried to separate them.

She'd been suffocating silently in guilt ever since.

_ I'm sorry. _

It wasn't fair. The war was over, the world was at peace and mending itself, but Katara never felt more broken, standing atop the palace steps, watching helpless as flames claimed yet another person close to her heart.

The fire was bright and her cheeks were wet.

*******

**Author's Note:**

> i regret nothing
> 
> (no beta we die like zuko)
> 
> i’m now on [tumblr](https://indigostars.tumblr.com/) so feel free to come say hi :)


End file.
